Talking sh*t

no seriously. this blog is about shit, so don't read this during your lunch break. hence it will be in various shades of brown
I've been accused of talking a lot of shit in my life but during a recent conversation with a few doctor mates of mine, they pointed out that no talk about shit is complete without talking about the Bristol stool form scale. what is that you may ask (too late, you can't run now!). well its everything you wanted to know about shit and then some. see picture. It helps our medical professionals identify what item of the hospital food menu your faeces most imitates. Then the orderlies can correctly sort and recycle them back into the food chain no doubt. Other uses? ermmm they didn't mention any.
The fact that it compares your poo to various food items i highly disturbing. especially if you're a patient as these items are highly likely to be served up on the menu. puts a whole new light to hospital food is shit. The other disturbing thing is how respected researcher could dedicate decades of their productive life producing it.
I'm feeling kinda smug and highly achieved because I can manage to conjure up any form on the scale.

Second Dump
You can lure people with honey, you can even lure people with a carrot but few will be lured by shit dangling from a stick. So WTF was the government thinking by trying to "entice" school leavers to do their Gap Year in the army???
I personally would have loved to have done a gap year. Taking a year off after completing high school to travel would definitely have helped me mature and figure out what the heck I wanted to do for the rest of my life. However by far the biggest drawcard would be the travel and unsupervised fun. I seriously don't see the fun factor in joining the army and even if you get to travel, you're not going to be able to decide where you go and lets face it, the destinations are unlikely to be holiday party towns.
Now its a pretty difficult choice. Do you
A) Spend a year getting pissed, partying, and making out with the locals in exotic locations
B) Spend a year doing push-ups, getting yelled at by a drill sergeant, and getting shot at by pissed off locals.
Anyone who chooses option B deserves to, well be forced to do option B.

Three times a charm
keeping with the shit theme. I'd like to complain that the last 24hrs have been frankly shit.

1. my client is grumpy through no fault of mine but is taking it out on my team.
   
2. I broke my umbrella
3. I got super glue all over my hands trying to fix the umbrella.

So shit really does occur in threes.